Sry I called you an 8
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
