You can't special order awesome
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
