Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
