she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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