I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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