It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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