We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You don't make any sense
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