Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
