One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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