I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
