he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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