What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
