Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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