Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
