im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
