I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
