Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
