lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
