Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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