how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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