Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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