that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
