Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
