I want to walk on stilts...naked
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
