I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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