As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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