Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
