The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
