Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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