What a fucking waste of an outfit
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
