i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
