How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
