Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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