I only kidnapped one of them. chill
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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