Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Are we still banned from the library?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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