are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
