i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
