Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
