Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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