Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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