Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
