I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
