id be glad to
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
