your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
