I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
