Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize