i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
