oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
