sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
