hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
