From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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